Erased Self, Opening the Door

Protecting the disappearing me.
This is the author's book I met at the 2nd Gunsan Book Fair last year.
It was the first book I decided to buy among many attractive books.
Protecting the disappearing me.
There are happy times laughing and chatting with company life, friends, and family, but there seem to be times when I feel like I'm subtly disappearing.
Especially company life.
In the conservative Joseon Dynasty culture, even young junior employees or women are often subject to extreme criticism or ignored just for expressing their thoughts and voices.
The images of countless Kkondae and seniors I've met so far pass by like a panorama.
Now that I'm in a senior position, when I see juniors not putting up with things I used to put up with so easily or acting recklessly, I sometimes feel sorry for the seniors of the past, but...
This book talks about how difficult it is to consider oneself already wonderful and sufficient just by existing in a Korean society where normality and meritocracy are rampant, not feeling defeated, and living positively in one's own life.
The author's short biography, who wants to love and be loved without losing humanity, away from the normality that the world has gaslighted for years through indoctrination, is honestly contained.
Humans are beings who must live together in groups in society.
At the same time, they are already complete just by existing, but everyone, large or small, considers those who deviate even slightly from the normality set by the group, that is, society, or those who are eliminated from competition to be worthless, and everyone seems to be living in anxiety, struggling not to become like that.
I wonder if there are any happy people.
These days, the story of the author who worked hard to overcome hurdles and tried to belong to normal society but eventually became a worker outside the organization seems to have become too common and ordinary.
I wonder if I still have that courage.
At the end, the author doesn't proudly boast about her current life, but talks about the door that can't be seen unless you close the door.
No one can predict a choice that they won't regret.
I recommend this book to everyone who is facing fear.
Let's sincerely feel that I am still a valuable being even if I don't have any achievements to boast about to the world.
The excerpted content is as follows.
"Living with a sensitive body, I often wonder who set the standards for what is said to be natural.
There are many people who go to work while listening to real verbal abuse, but they might say it's just whining when I'm suffering alone.
The gestures I made to hide my appearance, which is far from normal, and to appear as an ordinary member of society.
If I was a person who was alienated from society when I was unemployed, I was diligently cooperating in erasing myself in the company.
In a competition where you have to pass exams and be ranked, being called incompetent was no different from being worthless.
Isn't it just that I'm trying to package the place where I ran away from that ugly appearance and fell as a choice?
Another door that can only be seen when you close the door.
And I want to congratulate myself on choosing to meet the many stumbling blocks and the unexpectedly beautiful flowers that can only be seen from the fallen place.
However, there are realities and choices that only become visible when you have to make an irreversible decision.
As long as you stay in the company, you don't know the desperation of not having a salary."

#SelfReflection #SelfEsteemRecovery #Mindfulness #OfficeWorkerSympathy #Resignation 고민 #LifeBookRecommendation #Bookstagram #EssayRecommendation #RelationshipAesthetics #TimeToMyself